Sue Crutcher's Blog

As you heard on today’s segment of blogtalkradio, here is a copy of the suggested ’scripts’ you could use as you learn to say ‘no’ … nicely … to requests. Remember, this is my style of speaking.

SUGGESTION:

Write out the scripts below and then ‘tweek’ them to suit your personality and voice. Practice saying them out loud until they flow and become natural for you to use.

 

For the beginner, try this:

“I’m really booked right now. I don’t know if I fit that in my schedule. Let me check (with my husband/wife/partner and/or my calendar) and get back to you.” 

This method could be misconstrued as avoidance. And, it IS avoidance if you choose to use it that way by not getting back to the person as you said you would.

Get back to them after a reasonable amount of time … and time is relative to what is being asked of you. If they need an answer the next day, call them today so they have time to find someone else. Waiting until the last minute to say ‘no’ is inconsiderate, rude and disrespectful to the person who asked for your help. It puts them in an uncomfortable situation. True, they may not ask you again, but they will remember how you handled the situation. It is not, as we refer to it in our family, ‘taking the high road’.

Saying ‘no’ is not rude, inconsiderate nor disrespectful. It is how it is said that makes it so.

 

For someone who has practiced the beginner method for a while and is comfortable, try this:

“I’m sorry. I would like to help, but I can’t do it right now.” (Insert offer to help with something else or another time here if suitable and true.)

 This method requires no getting back to anyone, no avoidance and no delays. You’ve said ‘no’ in a nice way. If you really would like to help and could do so at some other time, say so and/or make a suggestion when, where and what you would be willing to help with. The person on the receiving end will appreciate your honesty and will contact you again.

 

Once you feel comfortable with that, you can move on to simply saying:

“Sorry. No.” (unless you’re not sorry of course)

 This implies that you choose to say ‘no’ which is, in fact, exactly what you are doing. No excuses. You simply are not doing whatever is asked. If you are not sorry that you are saying ‘no’, you could say: “I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m saying ‘no’ on this.” That statement doesn’t say you are sorry, it says you are sorry to disappoint them which, most likely, you are.

It takes time for you to adapt to saying ‘no’ and it takes more time for those around you to adapt to you saying it, especially if you’ve been a ‘yes’ person for a long time.

So … practice, practice, practice.

By the way, this method makes it much easier to say an enthusiastic ‘yes’ when you want to!

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NEXT SEGMENT OF: www.BlogTalkRadio.com/12-at-12

Wed., June 30 at noon til 12 minutes after the hour

Tags: boundaries, how to say no, how to say no nicely, script, scripts

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 16th, 2010 at 10:43 am and is filed under BlogTalkRadio show 12-at-12, boundaries, business. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.