Sue Crutcher's Blog

As you heard on today’s segment of blogtalkradio, here is a copy of the suggested ’scripts’ you could use as you learn to say ‘no’ … nicely … to requests. Remember, this is my style of speaking.

SUGGESTION:

Write out the scripts below and then ‘tweek’ them to suit your personality and voice. Practice saying them out loud until they flow and become natural for you to use.

For the beginner, try this:

“I’m really booked right now. I don’t know if I fit that in my schedule. Let me check (with my husband/wife/partner and/or my calendar) and get back to you.” 

This method could be misconstrued as avoidance. And, it IS avoidance if you choose to use it that way by not getting back to the person as you said you would.

Get back to them after a reasonable amount of time … and time is relative to what is being asked of you. If they need an answer the next day, call them today so they have time to find someone else. Waiting until the last minute to say ‘no’ is inconsiderate, rude and disrespectful to the person who asked for your help. It puts them in an uncomfortable situation. True, they may not ask you again, but they will remember how you handled the situation. It is not, as we refer to it in our family, ‘taking the high road’.

Saying ‘no’ is not rude, inconsiderate nor disrespectful. It is how it is said that makes it so.

For someone who has practiced the beginner method for a while and is comfortable, try this:

“I’m sorry. I would like to help, but I can’t do it right now.” (Insert offer to help with something else or another time here if suitable and true.)

 This method requires no getting back to anyone, no avoidance and no delays. You’ve said ‘no’ in a nice way. If you really would like to help and could do so at some other time, say so and/or make a suggestion when, where and what you would be willing to help with. The person on the receiving end will appreciate your honesty and will contact you again.

Once you feel comfortable with that, you can move on to simply saying:

“Sorry. No.” (unless you’re not sorry of course)

 This implies that you choose to say ‘no’ which is, in fact, exactly what you are doing. No excuses. You simply are not doing whatever is asked. If you are not sorry that you are saying ‘no’, you could say: “I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m saying ‘no’ on this.” That statement doesn’t say you are sorry, it says you are sorry to disappoint them which, most likely, you are.

It takes time for you to adapt to saying ‘no’ and it takes more time for those around you to adapt to you saying it, especially if you’ve been a ‘yes’ person for a long time.

So … practice, practice, practice.

By the way, this method makes it much easier to say an enthusiastic ‘yes’ when you want to!

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NEXT SEGMENT OF: www.BlogTalkRadio.com/12-at-12

Wed., June 30 at noon til 12 minutes after the hour

Tags: boundaries, how to say no, how to say no nicely, script, scripts
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THIS WEEK: Wednesday, June 16 — 12 noon until 12 minutes after the hour.

NEXT SEGMENT: June 30 at 12 noon until 12 minutes after the hour.

Tags: boundaries, guilt, resentment, say 'no', scripts
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One of the biggest boundaries we have is learning to say “no”. Boundaries is also the most common “money mirror” in my experience with clients. A “money mirror” shows us how the money we have is a reflection of the mirror we are currently learning from.  And, yes, you can be learning from more than one mirror simultaneously. However, one mirror will be predominating in specific situations such as business. Your relationships money mirror may be totally different.

As a personal example: although it is a leeetle bit scary to ‘shine my light’ and stand up as a bigger leader for others, it is very freeing and wonderful to be able to understand this level of me, to be able to articulate it to others, and to have it as the underlying passion that fuels my brand, my business and my new found level of success. Also, not surprisingly, this is the same focus as my current money mirror – to stand up and be a leader … to set an example for others.

My recently-created BlogTalkRadio show is another step toward accepting the challenge of my money mirror.

See, coaches have lessons too!

I truly believe that our physical outer world (our reality) is a direct result of our inner world (beliefs, knowledge, circle of influence and more) – all stemming from our past beliefs. We’ll delve more deeply into that concept in other segments. I simply want to set the stage for ‘money mirrors’ because it is the ‘inner world’ of our beliefs about money that creates the ‘outer world’ of financial rewards or struggles we experience in our daily lives.

To give you a better idea of what I mean, consider this…

An orange tree does not grow lemons or grapefruits no matter how much you intend or hope for it to do so. The fact that they are all citrus trees is irrelevant to the orange tree. An orange tree grows oranges. That’s it. However, how many oranges, how juicy and tasty the oranges are, how long the tree survives – all of those variables are open to adaptation. What creates juicier oranges? You sitting there cross-legged in front of the tree daily and intending juicier oranges isn’t likely going to cut it. You could physically do quite a few things that would help increase the odds of a better outcome for the fruit of the orange tree. Some are simple: like proper amounts of light and moisture; temperature for ideal growth; checking nutrient levels in the surrounding soil. Some are more complex: as in changing the actual nutrient content of the surrounding soil; moving the tree to a more nurturing and protected environment. By changing any one of these, whether the simple or the complex, the outcome is affected.

Let’s bring that back to our physical world or reality. If we change any one belief (thought process), it will affect our outer world by creating a new result through our action. Therefore, changing our current beliefs about money will change our future results.

So, here’s the synopsis, or as I like to say: “Sue-nopsis”…

There are FOUR MIRRORS

They are:

• Boundaries
• Courage
• Deservability
• Love

Listen to the entire show (12 minutes) on my BlogTalkRadio Show “12 at 12″ today, June 9 at noon. Yes, it’s archived if you can’t make it.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/12-at-12

Until next time…

Sue

Tags: 12 at 12, blogtalk, blogtalkradio, boundaries, money mirror, say 'no'
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